The eye does not see a flaw, if the heart loves a heart.
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
- Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via disappolnted)
At one hearing, a blind woman tearfully explained how she lost a prestigious scholarship opportunity after her GPA fell because her reader was laid off. That classroom assistance was essential because math figures needed verbal translation.
Another mobility-impaired student testified that losing transportation services made moving between campus buildings extremely painful. It also affected her grades when attending some classes became impossible."
Funding for California community colleges was cut by 10%. Funding to disabled student services at California community colleges was cut by 40%.
Double Exposure Photography by Antonio Mora aka Mylovt
i am fascinated by these..
"We’re taken by nature. Split by the mountains, enlightened by the forests, and washed away with the seas."
rain appreciation post
Nothing on this earth will ever compare to rainfall. Nothing will ever match up to the droplets sprinkling against your cheek, or the water soaking your clothes. Nothing will ever be like the droplets plopping against the street, or tapping against the metal and glass of the constructed world.
Rain is the one of the most magnificent facets of this world for me, and nothing will ever compare to it.
Louis CK (reason #94826 why he’s the best comedian)
Somewhere along the way, Louis CK become society’s ideal father and I’m 100% okay with this.